Festival of Colours and Concept of Equality
Holi is a festival of colours, love, and spring within the Indian / Hindu culture. Can the festival also be about equality?
A group of friends and families celebrating Holi
I was recently taking Soulful Pictures at the Willowdale Holi get-together in Toronto and started thinking. The Festival of Colours ignores age, gender, skin colour, and ethnicity. It favours the loving application of powdered paint and drenching each other in coloured water. Differences disappear because everyone is multi-coloured at the end. Many colours create a mosaic of everyone, dissolving distinctions and symbolizing a world free of discrimination. It is a testament to the idea that all are equal, regardless of differences.
A festival of colours rooted in the concept of equality.
A child may not think about such concepts when the prime objective is to have fun. However, as a discriminated parent of a young child, concepts of equality are noticeable.
My daughter was abducted from Canada by her mother under the false pretext of a vacation. She currently remains abducted in India, a country where parental abduction of children is not considered a crime and where an increasing number of parents are abducting and taking their children.
My daughter Miraya enjoying Holi with me before she was abducted to India by her mother
Her abduction has highlighted how Indian diaspora and law officials discriminate against a parent based on gender. Not everyone participates in this discrimination, but most of the population does. It is especially damaging if the person discriminating is in a position of power, is supposed to hold the law, or is trusted implicitly by your child.
In the realm of parenting, equality has been a contested issue. Traditional norms often assign distinct roles to mothers and fathers. Teaching these traditional norms to a child shapes how they start believing in outdated gender roles and think of parents. A child starts thinking that a father is unnecessary or does not love the child as much as the mother. Even my daughter is coached by the abductor to believe that a mother’s love is strongest because the mother carried my daughter in her “tummy” for nine months. Just because fathers are biologically incapable of carrying a pregnancy to term, does that mean fathers love their daughters any less? Is a father incapable of loving his daughter just as much as the mother? What is my role as the loving and doting father?
Am I just the sperm donor?
As much as I would like to believe that a child’s misconception can be corrected given time, what about adults? Law officials with strong opinionated gender biases can shatter the dreams of left-behind parents to reunite with their children. Judges with the opinion that a father cannot take care of his daughter without a female companion to take care of a female child have already made up their minds about not reuniting the child with the parent before they even learn the facts of the abduction. Does the same thought apply to mothers who do not have a male companion to care for the male child? If such a mother can take care of a son, why entertain the discriminatory thought that a father cannot take care of a daughter?
A family enjoying Holi
I love my daughter. I have and can take care of her. I have always advocated for equality in parental rights. If a child is fortunate to have multiple parents, the child will benefit from each parent. Equality in parental rights ensures that both parents have an equal say in the upbringing of their children, regardless of gender. It challenges stereotypes and promotes shared responsibilities. It creates a balanced environment where children benefit from the strengths and contributions of both parents. It does not mean that a parent can unilaterally abduct a child to another country without the consent of the other parent. It does not mean that the unlawful and corrosive actions of a parent abducting a child are rewarded. It does not mean that the law, the right of a parent to reunite with his child, and the right of a child to be with both parents are all eclipsed by the opinions and gender biases of legal experts.
Such a seismic psychological shift not only uplifts families but also reflects a vibrant spirit of Holi. Just as intermingled colours create a beautiful mosaic during Holi, an equitable partnership between parents creates a nurturing and supportive environment for their children. After all, if a cultural festival like Holi can celebrate equality, why can’t the society which celebrates Holi erase archaic notions of parental roles and treat parents equally?
